Shit’s About To Go Down

Poop jokes aren’t my favourite, but they’re a solid No. 2

It seems everyone these days is wrestling with a gut reaction. Autoimmunes, allergies, anxiety, aging. We’re talking deep doo-doo.

Mom has battled Lupus related Colitis for over 30 years. We carry the torch to a lesser degree, enough to know the whereabouts of every ladies room this side of the Mississippi.

Which begs the question. Is diarrhea genetic, or does it just run in my jeans?

Anxiety is the root of IBS evil. Yoga can help let shit go, at the risk of an entire hour trying not to let a smelly one slip.

What we eat on the daily is what comes out. I once went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of Aisle 6. Rectums are trash compactors that send poop tarts packing.

It starts out innocently enough. A toot here, a gurgle there. Suddenly your brow beads, your guts percolate, and you just know – in that crowded restaurant after cheese fondue – a poonami is on its way.

It’s impossible to have a good BM when you’re not in your safe place. We’re reluctant to dump backdoor betty into a public toilet, fifth wheel trailer, or plane. Not even a whoopsie poopsie.

Don’t poo poo the facts amigos. Good friends talk about boys, best friends talk about humanure. I guess that makes us besties!

What the...?Why?
Use a squatty pottyYour colon and intestines are twisted and turned. Squatting opens up the canal so stool comes out quickly.
Everybody poops 410 lbs. a yearOverpoopulation
On average, you drop 2.5 oz. to 1 lb after giving birth to a food babyFive minute miracle diet
More fecal matter is found on toothbrushes than toilets, even ones that had never been used in the bathroomTotal bummer
Gut bacteria influences stress levels, emotional behaviour, and thinkingPost traumatic poop syndrome

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  1. Lisa

    Squatty Potty…best invention ever!

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