Note To My 20-Year-Old Self
1. Back pain is a direct result of youth leaving your body. 2. Trimming your nose hair is an actual thing. 3. Rock 'n roll all night and party every…
My Tiger Beat Heartthrobs
I think I'm in love! No wait, I was just hungry... There's a line from a Garth Brooks song that says “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.” Without that…
Doggie Style
A dog is truly man’s best friend. If you don’t believe it, try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of a car for an hour.…
Every Summer Tells A Story
Summer of '69 Youth is wasted on the young ✮ Barefoot ✮ Perma-tan ✮ Kool-aid on tap ✮ Raiding gardens ✮ Drinking from the hose ✮ Outside from dawn till…
How NOT To Talk To Your Child About Sex
By Rachael Pavlik The inevitable has happened. Late last night, our child walked in on us… you know, in flagrante delicto. We weren’t sure how long she had been standing…
What Scares The Bejeezus Out Of You?
1. Dear Husband: I can make your wife scream louder than you. Sincerely, Spider https://youtu.be/mY37YfUliVA 2. Getting roofied. If I’m going to lay motionless during sex, I’d prefer it to…
CSI 🍷 Crime Scene Intoxication
We've all been guilty of an irreversible moment known as the tipping point. It hits hard-and-fast, and the dark side always wins. By the time you’re aware of an acute…
Partners In Grime
By virtue of our vag, women are born into a life of servitude. Clean the latrine Cinderella. Febreze till you wheeze Cinderella. Dear Martha: you’re not doin' time anymore, so…