To All The Girls I’ve Loathed Before
We love women! They’re the peanut to our brittle, the cheese to our whiz. They top up our love tank in ways men can’t touch. But the road to lady…
Game Of Phones
Ring-ring, the 90’s are calling! Flip phones are making a comeback, only this time gettin’ jiggy comes with a posh spice price tag. With apple and blackberry infatuation at a…
What I Did On My Summer Vaycay!
Dear bitches: I’m baaack! After a dark and stormy year, a little R&R was just what my oracle ordered. I hope your summer was as fanfuckintastic as mine, but it’s…
Technology Can Byte Me
You told me to right click...so I 'wrote' click. Does technology make you feel like a fossil? Time for a trip down memory lane! Phones With two Chatty Cathy kids,…
Note To My 20-Year-Old Self
1. Back pain is a direct result of youth leaving your body. 2. Trimming your nose hair is an actual thing. 3. Rock 'n roll all night and party every…
My Tiger Beat Heartthrobs
I think I'm in love! No wait, I was just hungry... There's a line from a Garth Brooks song that says “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.” Without that…
Doggie Style
A dog is truly man’s best friend. If you don’t believe it, try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of a car for an hour.…
Every Summer Tells A Story
Summer of '69 Youth is wasted on the young ✮ Barefoot ✮ Perma-tan ✮ Kool-aid on tap ✮ Raiding gardens ✮ Drinking from the hose ✮ Outside from dawn till…
How NOT To Talk To Your Child About Sex
By Rachael Pavlik The inevitable has happened. Late last night, our child walked in on us… you know, in flagrante delicto. We weren’t sure how long she had been standing…