I Glitterally Can’t
Have you ever noticed a random sparkle or two on someone’s face, and wondered where the hell it came from? A crafting project or wayward makeup is a feasible hunch,…
Pro Tips From An Old Broad
As a newly ordained 60-year-old, I’m brimming with Obi-Wan Kenobi wisdom. Nuggets, like the dark side has better weed, and I'm pretty fly for a Jedi. 1. The best way…
The Pursuit of Happiness
As I lounge on my beach chair, sangria in one hand, paperback in the other, a line jumps out at me. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy…
Song Lyric Fails
These ladies of the 80’s are massive music lovers. The first time I heard Bon Jovi croon “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not,” I presumed he…
A Message from Mother Goose
Dear Humanity, Mother Goose is on the loose, and she’s ready to kick some ass. Us mothers have been watching mankind take it from behind, and it’s clear y’all need…
If Rona Doesn’t Take You Out…Can I?
What’s a girl to do when she’s single, vintage, and hasn’t dated in 30 years? Not only have we been living in a tomb, Mummy’s dating skills are downright archaic.…
The Evolution of Air Travel
It’s 1986 You strut into the airport 30 minutes before your International flight, Doc Martens tightly laced mid-calf, and two wide belts looped around the waist of your pastel jumpsuit.…
Liar Liar Pants On Fire
There are two lies I spin all the time. 1) I’m fine, and 2) I have read and agree with the terms and conditions. When it comes to the sidestep…
Things You’re Technically Allowed To Do, But, Should You…?
✴ Polish off the shrapnel inside your bra after binging a family size bag of chips. ✴ Inform your wife she sounds like her mother. ✴ Park your sparkly new…
