When I was young, I assumed that when I got old, my body and mind would inevitably go to pot. Inexperienced me thought everyone died of “old age,” so up…
It’s the first week of January, and I’m finally sober enough to go for groceries. My limp from a Christmas catfight over the turkey in Aisle 5 has mostly healed.…
Imagine finding yourself in desperate need of a haircut, but you’re forbidden to touch your luscious locks. Well, what the fuck, you’ve had access to a barber shop for the…
Last month, we lost one of our own. A pal since puberty surrendered his spirit after a five year battle with cancer. His death fired off a warning flare amongst…
Harlequin romance introduced us to throbbing members, heaving bosoms, and honey pots. The formula was copy and paste, but women aren't skimming the pages looking for a plot. With 6.2…
I’m writing this in the middle of the night. More specifically, between 3:30 - 6:30 a.m., when I’m consistently wide the fuck awake! Flopping back and forth fires up my…
A kidney stone walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The kidney stone says, “Thanks dude, but I’m just passing through.” It started with sharp pains, like…
Is anyone else eating a week’s worth of snacks in one day? If not, me neither... One day normal life is the best thing since sliced bread, the next day…