If Men Had A Uterus

1. Going forward, Aunt Flo’s visits will be man-dated to 3-5 business days, open on weekends.

2. Masculine hygiene commercials would depict a hockey slash/gash crime scene with blood flowing everywhere.

3. When their men-branes dry out, and start coughing up the Sahara, you can bet WD-40 will launch a new lubricant.

4. Whiskey-filled wineskins would replace hot water bottles for their gut-wrenching cramps.

5. Locker room bravado insists they gently rib each other over who has the biggest hole, or who men-strates harder. “Slender is for pussies, I’m sporting a super jumbo plus!”

6. Dilating your deeply sacred orifice to snake up a copper-wired IUD really puts the screws to ya.

7. A wrinkly man-i-pausal uterine sac could house an 80-year-old womb room. Not only could they still father a child, delivery would be their labour of love.

8. The crying would never cease!

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