I’m Not Gonna Sugarcoat It
After spending the better part of our lives together, refined sugar and I ended our relationship. It wasn’t a mutual decision, divorce rarely is. A sucker for sucrose, I was…
I’m Having an Auto-body Experience
This isn’t another new year, new me post…but it kinda is. Every January, I resolve to sober up, tighten the purse strings, and lose the gunt. But by week three,…
Chugga Chugga Toot Toot
When we were young, Mom preferred to use the word “spark” in lieu of fart, as potty humour was reserved for stinky boys. “Eew, you sparked!” would have us rolling…
Surviving Ovarian Retirement
Shortly before my 49th birthday, internal alarm bells set off a menacing chime. “Why is she so snarky?” my pursed lips asked my clenched jaw. “Why is she so snacky?”…
Time For Another Edition of “What The Hell Is Happening To My Body!”
Welcome to 55+, known to us crusty cool cats as the corn husk years. The era where your body demands attention, akin to a cactus with a flair for the…
When It Rains It F✶✶king Pours
What happens to your body when life tries to eat you alive, one chunk at a time? When your inner stress regulator (aka, the nervous system) is set to high…
A Pain In The Ass
When I was young, I assumed that when I got old, my body and mind would inevitably go to pot. Inexperienced me thought everyone died of “old age,” so up…
Your Mane Reproductive Rights
Imagine finding yourself in desperate need of a haircut, but you’re forbidden to touch your luscious locks. Well, what the fuck, you’ve had access to a barber shop for the…
Papa Was A Kidney Stone
A kidney stone walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The kidney stone says, “Thanks dude, but I’m just passing through.” It started with sharp pains, like…
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