‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
The martinis were stirred, the Sisters were soused.
My stockings had runs, there were knots in my hair,
December exhausts me, I’m too tired to care.
I was nestled all snug with a bottle of red,
Had enough of the children so I sent them to bed.
The heel of the wine should have been my nightcap,
But Santa’s damn presents were waiting for wrap.
Still so much to do, put down the cheese platter,
Top up my Bailey’s, it’s time to get at ‘er.
The whole family is coming, it will be a big bash,
So back to the kitchen, there’s potatoes to mash.
I’m feeling quite joyous, my cheeks are aglow,
I’m lit from within, must be the Merlot.
Sarcasm is flowing, I’m wearing a sneer,
Refill my glass, it’s time for a beer.
Santa’s not helping, he’s being a dick,
I’m all stressed out, where the hell is St Nick.
Thank god for the booze it’s keeping me sane,
In a slightly slurred speech I loudly proclaim.
On vodka, on soda, on blender, on mixer,
On tonic, on ginger, the golden elixir.
Step out on the porch, lean against the wall,
Inhale the fresh air and hope I don’t fall.
What the fuck, an old man is up on my roof,
Pull out the cell phone I’ve got to get proof.
His sleigh and reindeer have docked without sound,
Perhaps I’m just pissed from the hooch that I’ve downed.
Dressed in bright red with black boots on each foot,
He winked and he whispered for me to stay put.
Down the chimney he squeezed with toys on his back,
I’ve been naughty quite often, was he keeping track.
I had cookies and milk but he was off dairy,
His preference was scotch or a stiff Bloody Mary.
He received my wish list and wanted to know,
Was I being nice or a ho, ho, ho.
He reached in his bag and gave me a nod,
His attention was flattering to this old broad.
He pulled from his sack a bottle of white,
Said, “At Christmastime it helps to be tight.”
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! 🎅
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All the best to you and yours this holiday season. Enjoy the small joys and amazing surprises this time brings!
My favourite so far ladies 🙂 thanks for the giggles!
Cheers to you and your families this Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you and your families.
I love it. Merry Christmas to you crazy girls and your families. Peace.
Thank you for keeping us sane! Merry Christmas Jodi! ❤
Hahahahaha just made my morning girls. What a great poem. Merry Christmas to you and your families! Love u’s xoxo
Love you back! Merry Christmas Pighin’s!
This poem speaks to me! Merry Christmas Sangria Sisters.
Merry Christmas Sangria Sisters and families! ❤️
Merry Christmas BFF! Looking forward to spending time with your shoes!
Merry Christmas to you and yours! Best rendition I have read in a long time. Enjoy your holiday ! Best to you in 2017!
Our goal in 2017 is to have a glass of wine with the Kokott sisters! Merry Christmas to you and the girls Rachel!
I LOVE IT!! Thanks for the giggle! Hoping you all have a very Merry Xmas and that Santa is extra specially nice…and if not…well..thanks god for Boxing Day Sales until February!! Big hugs ladies and Cheers!
Haha, hugs and smooches to you too Bonnie! Merry Christmas! ❤
Merry Christmas one and all !!!!
Had the pleasure of seeing Brad after many moons. We’re grateful to retain friendships made so very long ago! Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas girls!!! Give your mom a Christmas hug for me!
Will do Brenda! Give your folks a squeeze from all of us!
That’s great. Merry Christmas! Lots of love to you fun girls.
Love you long time Jodi! Merry Christmas!