Three-Tier Cleaning For Friends

When friends drop by, at any given moment, what state would your house be in?

I confess to various levels of effort and anxiety when hosting company. From a ten second tidy, to a week-long borderline reno, you’d be flabbergasted at what I can accomplish. It’s not my nature to be overtly spotless, so if I look like I’m gliding on gilded floors, I’m actually sweeping up crumbs with my socks.

TIER 1 ✨ PRIVATE – All Access

🔼 Fondly referred to as the psycho level of cleaning.

🔼 When every inch of the house will be used, inside and out.

🔼 The perception is, 1) you’ll be judged like a muther[in-law];
2) you’re trying to match the “Martha” standards of your guests;
3) favorable friends heighten your acts-of-service love language.

🔼 Sitting on the toilet, glaring at dusty baseboards is a gateway to window sills and fridge crispers.

🔼 If there’s a toothpaste spot on the mirror, do you think they won’t come back?

🔼 Each day has a list of tasks to stay on course for the planned arrival.

🔼 This level can lead to ulcer pangs.

TIER 2 ✨ PUBLIC – Premium

⏺ Hosting pals in the backyard, so only the patio, kitchen, and bathroom are used.

⏺ They’re here for a good time, not a long time.

⏺ You mop and dust around items, rather than move them.

⏺ You’re convinced their house is on par or worse than yours.

⏺ Focus is more on cocktails and snacks than the haphazard heaps of laundry.

⏺ They’re content to see a dust bunny swirl in the corner as they pass by.

⏺ Two day all inclusive prep.

TIER 3 ✨ BASIC – Bronze

🔽 You’ve reached a level of comfort that allows for laziness.

🔽 Accomplices who’ve seen you at your worst, can let themselves in without calling.

🔽 You’d answer their text, “Are you home right now?”

🔽 You’re unabashedly comfortable with the shoddy condition of your crib.

🔽 The most you’ve done is drag a box out of the front entryway, so they could get in.

🔽 “Help yourself,” is your catchphrase.

🔽 You’re torn between cleaning the house…and arson.

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  1. Bonnie

    Can so relate. I think most of us can.

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