Game Of Phones

Ring-ring, the 90’s are calling! Flip phones are making a comeback, only this time gettin’ jiggy comes with a posh spice price tag.

With apple and blackberry infatuation at a fever pitch, it begs the question, are we cell-outs to the almighty fruit?

My stupid “smart” phone suddenly stopped emitting sound. I cussed, poked, and fumed, pissed at technology and already jonesing over its possible loss. As usual, I executed old-timey strategies when faced with an IT catastrophe:

1. Complain to a friend – but not a young friend, who may be able to offer useful advice. Hell no, I choose old friends who empathize while disguising their joy they’re not me.

2. Pretend I don’t care if my device is screwed. I grew up with a party line – four families on one phone line, no less. Surely, I can go a couple hours without my smartphone.

3. Nope. I can’t. And I will NEVER admit this to my children.

4. Open Settings 17 times.

5. Realize for the 17th time I don’t know what shit I’m supposed to set.

6. Consider calling my cell phone provider.

7. Consider crawling across a field full of gravel on bare knees to find a pointy stick with which to gouge out my eyes.

8. Slam the fucker on the counter a couple of times – like we did with rabbit ears.

9. Power down and reboot.

10. Wonder why I can never remember to try #9 first because it ALWAYS WORKS!

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