Health

Cheese Is Self-Care, Right?

September is Self-Care Month, a time to pay the piper after a summer of chipping, dipping, and margarita sipping. A reminder that negative self-talk is passé. From now on, I’m going to:

Talk to myself like I talk to my dog
✶ who’s a good girl? 🙋🏻‍♀️
✶ wag more and bark less
✶ 392 in dog years? No wonder I’m tired
✶ hello, you don’t think I know what w-i-n-e spells

I’m going to:

✶ do an intense cardio/strength workout after months of sitting on my ass
✶ own that awkward moment when I’m wearing Nike’s but I just can’t do it
✶ plot my instructor’s untimely demise
✶ get my sorry ass back to class

I’m going to:

✶ treat my body to a Rolls-Royce 12 point inspection
✶ book all doctor’s appointments – physical, dental, colonoscopy, vision, chiro, mammo, derm, screens, bone density
✶ because health is the real wealth

I’m going to:

✶ do a dry run of Sober October, preparing for ‘Can’t Remember December’
✶ I’d rather be a good liver than have one

✶ spend one luxurious day a week at home in comfy old pajamas
✶ home is where the bra isn’t

✶ make a routine of bath + wine + music + THC – I mean, TLC

I’m going to:

✶ moisturize: slather, lather, repeat
✶ unless I’m an actress, cut out the drama
✶ buy the pretty shoes, but make sure my orthotics fit inside

I’m going to:

✶ set a moment for daily reflection – how fucking amazing am I? 💯
✶ get back to puppy talk: I am loving, loyal, smart, and potty-trained

Guaranteed to bring you joy within 30 days, or receive a full refund on all your feels!

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  1. Ken

    Brilliant advice I can put to work whenever I get around to it and guilt free. Time for my walkies

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