In our early 30’s, a friend and mother of three admitted she was sexually tapped out. My boy toy and I were still in the organ-grinding heyday of a new relationship (bagged that elephant, now in our 25th year).
“No sex drive,” I remember thinking, “What a shame.” My younger self, with her untainted taint, wondered how bow-chick-a-wow-wow dared to leave the building.
Therein lies one of life’s greatest mysteries. How does “what a shame” turn into a “sense of shame?” Prairie girls who took pleasure with a roll in the hay (literally), now feigning sleep in their big comfy beds.
Intimacy inevitably ebbs, but that’s just the tip of the trouser snake. If I could tell that 30 something what was coming down the pipe, I’d say a) you’re not broken, b) you’re not alone, and c) here’s how we lose our mojo:
1. The baby broke your box.
2. You’re down a quart of jolly juice, the lubricant of life.
3. Sex has become a bore so you’d rather snore than score.
4. It’s called a clitoris and it’s right here – ok, maybe shifted slightly, but whatever.
5. Poor body image…boobs laying on belly, belly laying on lap.
6. Smoldering heat (the kindling in her internal furnace ignites when you cuddle).
7. Pregnancy panic – tests should read 1) you’re screwed, or 2) keep screwing.
8. We used to apply lipstick to go out…the same time we now wipe it off to go to bed.
9. Shit happens and you hate your mate, periodically.
10. Didn’t we just have sex last year, dear?
11. My ON switch is now a dimmer.
12. Medication, obviously not the fun kind.
Next week, in honour of Valentine’s Day, we discuss tips and tools to get the magic back!
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