HER:
🍑 Don’t have 700 throw pillows on your bed.
🍑 Surrender 1/16 of the bathroom space for his toiletries.
🍑 Concede that his method of loading the dishwasher is a-okay.
🍑 Until he can decipher the code between light, moderate, bleeding out, and wings, avoid asking him to buy feminine products.
🍑 Save your daily play-by-play commentary until there’s a break in the game, unless you want him gabbing throughout “The Bachelor.”
🍑 Ensure you have full eye contact before starting a conversation (a lil slap upside the head should do it).
🍑 Men prefer to unitask, with the exception of pooping and scrolling.
HIM:
🍆 Wash your own skid marks.
🍆 Refrain from the mansplain.
🍆 Despite feminist ideals, you can still open the door for her.
🍆 Avoid therapy by asking if she wants it fixed, or simply needs an ear.
🍆 Play with her hair, scratch her back, or give a massage with no sexual expectations.
🍆 Read the room to measure her barometric hormone pressure before engaging.
🍆 Be complimentary of a new haircut, fresh nails, or an outfit that makes her feel bodacious.
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