A Message from Mother Goose
Dear Humanity, Mother Goose is on the loose, and she’s ready to kick some ass. Us mothers have been watching mankind take it from behind, and it’s clear y’all need…
The Evolution of Air Travel
It’s 1986 You strut into the airport 30 minutes before your International flight, Doc Martens tightly laced mid-calf, and two wide belts looped around the waist of your pastel jumpsuit.…
Liar Liar Pants On Fire
There are two lies I spin all the time. 1) I’m fine, and 2) I have read and agree with the terms and conditions. When it comes to the sidestep…
New Year ~ Same Hot Mess
Who has a dramatic flair for entering a room? 2022, that’s fucking who! Glacial temperatures colder than my mother-in-law’s kiss. Trains, planes, and automobile travel gone off the rails. The…
When All Ain’t Merry And Bright
I’m traditionally a diehard holiday fan, A full on fruitcake with a git ‘er done plan, But this year my spirit is Christmas crackered, I'm flat out tired and totally…
Things You’re Technically Allowed To Do, But, Should You…?
✴ Polish off the shrapnel inside your bra after binging a family size bag of chips. ✴ Inform your wife she sounds like her mother. ✴ Park your sparkly new…
The Marathon of Life
To clarify, I’m not a runner. If you see me jogging, please kill whatever the fuck is chasing me! This week, the NYC marathon aired a story that warmed my…
A Ray of Hope
I hope to once again lick cheezie dust off my fingers without the fear of dying. I hope to hear a bartender ask, “Will that be shaken or stirred?” I…
Risky Business
When we were young, safety standards were a fuck of a lot lower than the heightened protocols of today. In lieu of a seat belt, Mom would slingshot her arm…
