Surviving Ovarian Retirement
Shortly before my 49th birthday, internal alarm bells set off a menacing chime. “Why is she so snarky?” my pursed lips asked my clenched jaw. “Why is she so snacky?”…
Time For Another Edition of “What The Hell Is Happening To My Body!”
Welcome to 55+, known to us crusty cool cats as the corn husk years. The era where your body demands attention, akin to a cactus with a flair for the…
Partners In Grime
By virtue of our vag, women are born into a life of servitude. Clean the latrine Cinderella. Febreze ‘til you wheeze Cinderella. This suzy homemaker is officially lowering the bar.…
The Twelve Wines of Christmas 🍷
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, A headache from the Chablis On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Two…
Elf On A Shelf – Police Blotter
Another sad story of a famous child gnome, whose top-billing went straight to his dome. His youth spent in a supporting role at the pole, eventually took a toll on…
The Ultimate Bag Lady
Raise your hand if you’ve stood in a checkout line, patiently waiting for a little old lady to pay? Rummaging through her giant handbag, she slowly unzips every zipper in…
Inappropriate Much?
If you know what rabbit ears and tinfoil have in common, book a colonoscopy tout suite! We grew up in the socially oblivious, footloose and fancy free era of entertainment.…
Nine Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
9. Death is the No. 1 killer in the world. 8. Life is sexually transmitted. 7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 6.…
Sangria Sisters Do’s and Don’ts
Don’t 1. Don’t put your money where your mouth is, that’s gross. 2. No nudie pics into cyberspace, unless you're cool with Uncle Wayne stargazing Uranus. 3. Ditch the open-toe…
