An Open Letter To My Boobs

Mood Swings

How do you make a hormone? Don’t pay her... Her: Whenever I get the urge to rip your beating heart out of your chest, I’m just as surprised as you are. Call…

Let It F***ing Go

“So I just decided to let it go,” said no woman ever. When my beloved and I argue, I have the damndest time letting go. I’ll come out swinging with…

It’s Not Easy Being Green

Wacky tobaccy lovin’ leprechauns struck gold with Justin Trudeau's pledge to legalize marijuana. No matter what side of the rainbow you’re on, left-handed cigarettes are coming to a Ganga Gourmet…

Mid-Wife Crisis

When a women asks you to guess her age, it’s like deciding whether to cut the red, blue, or green wire to diffuse the bomb. Me: I worked at one…

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