When we first brainstormed a blog, our game plan was to quarterback the superbowl of sisterhoods. To our surprise, we also scored a misterhood! The bro’s filling the stands will casually let drop that they frequently read our posts. These quiet Patróns of the Sangria arts are terrific athletic supporters.
Dudes dig us because we broadcast from the inner sanctum of the bush league. We do our best to enlighten the players, throwing ballpark figures outside the 36-24-36 fallacy. This shout out gives a voice to our Heisman winners, for tickling the pink of these humour writers.
Things About Men That Women Should Know
1. Men find women most beautiful when she’s confident.
2. If you wanna score, talk sports to him. So, what did you think about that game between the Seahawks and the Yankees?
3. He’s sorry, but that’s just the way he breathes.
4. Men are simple. Slow. down. for. them. If you want an honest answer, only ask one question at a time.
5. If he wants it, he’ll ask for it. No need to read too far into the playbook. Unlike women who expect a clairvoyant.
6. Guys like being on their own, but they don’t like being alone. He wants you there, just not right there. More like over there.
7. When a man drops the housekeeping ball, strategic incompetence is to blame. If she runs interference with the broom after he sweeps the room with a glance, it’s a win for him.
8. I said I’d be home in 5 minutes…stop calling every half hour (never gets old).
9. Right off the bat, men are challenged to find items right in front of their face. Even a cleanup batter would come up empty. Forget sending him down to the minors…it’s a guy thing.
10. You don’t have to be everything to everybody. Val’s husband Ken jokes that his idea of a complete woman is 75% Val and 25% Lori. What’s a hotdog without the filler?
11. Men don’t always swing for the fences. After rounding third and heading for home, they sometimes realize they completely missed first base.
12. When your play clocks don’t match up, (he’s third down and you’re still 50 yards from goal), throw a flag on the foreplay, and request more time on the clock. His target is a hail mary through the uprights, and a team dance in the end zone.
So cheers to you fellas! We don’t know why you came but this is likely why you stayed. #clitpic
Graphic by Dr. Fiona Mattatall for Camp Hoo-Ha
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My perfect man would be 75% John and 25% Ken! #6 made me chuckle wholeheartedly!
The perfect women would definitely have Karen as an ingredient in the mix
After 10 months in close quarters, I’m eager to share Ken with you! We wholeheartedly love you Karen!
You girls get men! I resemble these remarks. Big fan of the Sangria Sisters!
You got game Ken The Man! Your comments always hit it out of the park, making you our No. 1 athletic supporter!
Being a newbie, I can only say “it’s up there somewhere”.
Classic male response!