Jobs I would be terrible at
Hooker ✶ It would suck.
Cab Driver ✶ If I wanted to pick up strangers in the night…see, hooker.
Pharmacist ✶ One for you, two for me.
Gynecologist ✶ “Hello…hello..hello…echo…”
Military ✶ Unless I was In The Navy with some Macho Macho Men.
Taxidermist ✶ I used to stuff dead animals but I gave it up cold turkey.
Air Traffic Controller ✶ Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Accountant ✶ Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X. She’s not coming back. We don’t know Y.
Jobs I would be great at
Phone Sex Operator ✶ Then I could just phone it in.
Pro Golfer ✶ I drain my best shots on the nineteenth hole.
Cruise Ship Director ✶ Julie would be jealous.
Illustrator ✶ I’m headed back to the drawing board.
NASCAR Driver ✶ I draft with cars on the way for groceries.
First Lady ✶ Does it matter you can play checkers with my past?
Greeting Card Creator ✶ Sarcasm folded and delivered in an envelope.
Sangria Swiller ✶ Seriously, will somebody pay me for this!
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