An Old-Timey Right To An Opinion

Growing up in a little house on the prairie, Ma schooled us on R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Her motto was “you’re no better than anyone else, and no one is better than you.” We miss old-timey manners, dagnabbit. The good ‘ol days before online snitches got too big for their britches, setting humanity back a hundred years.

In today’s world, a new crop of negative Nellie Oleson’s peck away at keyboards, spewing fowl language with every talon click. These Quick Draw McGraw’s are easily triggered, shooting down opinions that differ from theirs. Without so much as a warning shot, you’ve been challenged to a duel of cyber-pistols at dawn.

We avoid controversy like the plague. You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. We pussyfoot around the fussin’ and fightin’ with humour. Civility and wit are our weapons of choice. If I’m gonna get an ass-whupping by someone, it better be for fun.

Opinions are like assholes, everyone is entitled to one. In this new-fangled age of cancel culture, one misstep and you’re photoshopped out of the picture. But Jeez Louise, opinions aren’t facts. You don’t know what’s going on in your neighbour’s barn, so try not to take them to task.

The divide between politics, protests, and pandemics will go down in Encyclopedia Dramatica history. Just because people don’t agree with you doesn’t mean they’re not listening. The world is a noisy place. It’s hard to hear when everyone is talking in caps.

What would Laura Ingalls do? She’d say quit yer’ belly achin’ and keep on scrolling. You catch more flies with honey, old-timey manners, and respect. In a world full of hate, be a light.

Heavens to Betsy, what a wonderful world it would be!

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