Holidaze

Christmas Parenting Young Children vs. Parenting Young Adults

Then: Don your wee daughter in a short party dress. Force her to strike a pose on the lap of an old man that smells like cigga-weed and feet.

Now: Lovingly wrap a selection of turtlenecks and baggy sweatpants to place under the tree for your daughter to wear out clubbing.

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Then: Take the kids tobogganing.

Now: Take out a second mortgage and take the kids heli-skiing.

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Then: Use your landline to “call Santa” to report your child’s deviant behaviour.

Now: Swipe through landmines of your child’s deviant behaviour on Instagram.

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Then: Sprinkle the littles with fairy dust to entice sleep on Christmas Eve. Build a new vocabulary of curse words assembling doll houses and race tracks.

Now: Open another bottle of wine hoping to entice the bigs to stay up with you a little longer.

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Then: Carrots on the roof, ash footprints on the hearth, half eaten cookies on the plate. The bold face lies and elaborate ruses used to perpetuate the magic of Santa.

Now: Lock up the cookies, hide the booze, or the kids will scarf them down before Santa.

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Then: Rally against corporate greed and commercialism. Model the spirit of Christmas through generous acts, and hand painting your own wrapping paper.

Now: Pray they get a post degree job with any corporation, ethical or not, as long as it successfully launches them into their own home.

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Then: Take the M out of Merry and put it in Martyr. Spend all day creating a 17 dish turkey dinner just like your mother did.

Now: Buy tofu for your vegan child, shrimp and steak for the rest. Put your feet up and enjoy a cocktail.

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Then: The kids wake you at 4:30 am Christmas morning because THEY can’t wait.

Now: Wake your kids at 11:00 am because YOU can’t wait.

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Then: Cherish the look on your child’s face when THEY open the toy they really, really wanted.

Now: Cherish the look on your child’s face when YOU open the gift they bought you, by budgeting with a few less beers over the month.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all you fabulous HO HO HO’s!

Join the discussion

  1. Bonnie

    This is great sisters! I especially like the one about waking up the kids at 11:00. I remember waiting for the kids to wake up ❤️ Merry Christmas and all the best in 2021!

  2. Catherine

    You sure hit the nail on the head with this one Sisters! Brings back alot of memories.
    Merry Christmas to you all!

  3. Ken MacLean

    This hits the bid for me. Like the quips from Reader’s Digest. Turns out it is still about being kids at Christmas.

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