By now, most of us have jumped on the Zoom train, the interwebs newest party in a box. When basic human connection vanished without a trace, the Hollywood Squares version of face-to-face was just what the doctor ordered.
Regardless of the platform, group video chats have a low level learning curve.
TONGUE AND CHEEK ZOOM ETIQUETTE
1. If you can’t be heard, talk louder to eventually drown out the other person. Never give up your spot. Remember, you are funny!
2. If you are talking and nobody is laughing…you must be on mute.
3. Don’t bother arriving early. No one will be there to appreciate it.
4. Jump in late, then spend the next 10 minutes trying to figure out this gall-dang newfangled technology.
5. Hygiene is overrated. Shower only if you want to make others feel bad.
6. Invite your spouse to say hello to your “au natural” friends. See if he recognizes any of them.
7. Looking to trigger vertigo or a 70’s psychedelic buzz? Wander room to room with Zoom.
8. Have side conversations with family without muting your mic. Leaves time for the group to discuss pet peeves they never thought of before.
9. Choose audio without video. Gives you the green light to yawn freely, pop a squat, and cruise the house naked.
10. Invite pals for dinner prep happy hour. Chopping onions in unison only sounds like felling a tree with an ax.
11. Hollywood models know it – angles do matter on camera.
● Angle the camera directly at or above you – not down below.
● Choose your view on the top right hand corner – Gallery View (everyone) vs Speaker View (just the speaker).
● Mute and Stop Video are located the bottom left hand of your screen.
● Set virtual custom backgrounds – click the up arrow next to the “stop video” button in the bottom left corner.
● Click “choose virtual background.” Pick from stock images or click the + button to upload an image.
● Laptop: you don’t need an app or download, just click the meeting link provided.
● iPhone and iPad: download the app “Zoom Cloud Meetings”
● Sign up, keep it under 40 minutes, and it’s free.
● To LEAVE MEETING, click on right hand corner.
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