The Lost Art of Getting Lost
My husband gets mad at the fact I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right. I remember getting directions from my Dad when I…
I DREAM OF SLEEP
I’m writing this in the middle of the night. More specifically, between 3:30 - 6:30 a.m., when I’m consistently wide the fuck awake! Flopping back and forth fires up my…
Will We Ever Get Back To F**king Normal?
Almost a full year into fattening the curve, it’s getting tougher to envision an end. My social life hasn’t been this bleak since my wallflower days at the junior high…
What If Prudence Programmed Our Playlists?
Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me… We’re card carrying members of the Eminem fan club, something the real Slim Shady couldn't foresee. His demographic is all…
An Old-Timey Right To An Opinion
Growing up in a little house on the prairie, Ma schooled us on R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Her motto was “you’re no better than anyone else, and no one is better than you.”…
Christmas Parenting Young Children vs. Parenting Young Adults
Then: Don your wee daughter in a short party dress. Force her to strike a pose on the lap of an old man that smells like cigga-weed and feet. Now:…
Christmas Is The New Sourdough Bread
Creeped out by Halloween, Covid, and election night, A need for comfort and joy was healed by yuletide light, My resting grinch face scowled, let's just Netflix in bed, But…
Papa Was A Kidney Stone
A kidney stone walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The kidney stone says, “Thanks dude, but I’m just passing through.” It started with sharp pains, like…
You Might Be a Martyr Mom
Does your house have chronically low oxygen due to repetitive, dramatic sighs? Do you start every sentence with “Why do I have to do everything myself?” You just might be…
