When life knocks you down,
calmly get back up, smile, and say…
you hit like a bitch.
We follow a number of hilarious bloggers in our Cynical Sisterhood whose common denominator, besides cracking us up, is depression. When someone we respect admits they bounce between Tigger in public to Eeyore at home, there’s an instant kinship. Their mental health headlines make our sad-sack state seem ordinary.
Most of us suffer occasionally from bouts of the blues. If you’ve ever asked, “How long is life going to fuck me until it just wants to cuddle?” you’re not alone. It’s been a rough year for us, and if we look bright and bubbly on the outside, it’s because we’re full of champagne.
Just another Xanax Monday.
I’ve never been prone to anxiety, but now my nerves fidget over something as simple as lunch with friends. My heart palpitations are as vigorous as baby kicks, yet remind me that life goes on after death of a loved one. My head keeps complaining “You’re bringing me down bitch,” while my body wishes we had more middle fingers.
I may look calm, but in my head I’ve killed you three times.
My anger alternated between boil and simmer. No one in my family was spared. I got caught in a perfect storm of grief and hormones. It’s hard to keep a sense of humour when you’re down a quart of estrogen. I found myself possessed by rage. Linda Blair was my spirit animal. I’d pop a cork, so I didn’t pop my cork.
If you fall, I’ll always be there. – The Floor
Depression threatened to drown me whenever I tried to swim upstream. My doctor prescribed a life jacket. There’s no shame in medicating when you can no longer tread water. This funk isn’t permanent. When the waves retreat, I’ll paddle out. Not everyone is so lucky. What the hell did depression do before Netflix?
I have weeks of sunshine before the storm clouds roll in, and rain pours down my cheeks. I naively believed that happiness was a choice, but it’s not always that easy. Somedays I’d like to put an ‘out of order’ sticker on my forehead and call it a day. Positive affirmations look good on paper, but they don’t always stick, even when they’re written on a Post-it.
Sangria Wine Rack
|Live in the moment. Stop worrying about the future.|
|Do something nice for someone else.|
|Get together with your girlfriends. Even when it seems like an effort.|
|Practice yoga. It’s as good for your heart as it is for your body.|
|Solicit hug therapy.|
|Take daily vitamins to improve your mood.|
|Soak in a warm tub with a bottle of wine.|
|Put the headphones on and listen to your favourite song...over and over.|
|You’re only one brisk walk away from a better mood.|
|Stay in your pajamas and do nothing for a whole day.|
|Watch videos of babies laughing, or dogs being adorable.|
|Refill that Rx.|
|Slap on some lipstick and get out there.|
Tunes you should have on your iPod:
Green Day ✤ Basket Case
Imagine Dragons ✹ Demons
Johnny Cash ✪ Hurt (Nine Inch Nails cover)
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