The late, great Joan Rivers was renowned for her meticulously organized joke collection of over one million three-by-five index cards. She quipped the hardest part of categorizing was whether they should be filed under ugly or dumb.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
Lori: I despise clutter. My house isn’t always clean, but it’s organized. Everything has a home I can beeline to. This compulsion prohibits me from displaying knick-knacks and paddywhacks. If there are more than two fridge magnets, I feel claustrophobic.
Val: I clean by shoving random’s into cupboards and closets. I misplaced my wedding ring for a year, only to strike gold by treasure hunting in my own closet. Nine out of ten times when I can’t find something, it’s because I put it away. I’ve lost my mind, my shit, and my marbles.
Does this clutter make my butt look fat?
Lori: My closets are streamlined, color coded, and categorized by dress, casual, stay-at-home, and don’t even think of answering the door. A clean closet deters the monsters from taking up residence.
Val: I have a full closet, but can’t find anything to wear. Color coordinating bores the pants off me, and a messy closet helps hide the skeletons. I’m a sucker for sentimental value. Prom dresses from junior and senior high hang beside my two wedding dresses. I’ll save that story for another day…
If you can fold a fitted sheet, you’re obviously a witch.
Lori: I feel physically and mentally lighter when I purge items from my fridge, closet, or basement. I love storage bins, baskets, shoe racks, key holders and drawer dividers. A label maker make me giddy with possibilities.
Me: I have a label maker, I just don’t know where. It paralyzes me to throw shit away. I’m emotionally attached to my sizable collection of albums, CD’s, and 8-track tapes. Items with little to no value go to my basement to die. I’d rather light a match than sift through the rubble.
Lori: I’m thankful for my Type A husband, who shares my love of an uncluttered home. Filers should not marry pilers. Martha fuckin’ Stewart has nothing on me.
Val: The house was clean, then the kids woke up. My family doesn’t close doors, drawers, or toilet seats. It’s basically shoveling in the middle of a snowstorm. I’m not a slob, and if I know you’re coming over, the house will be spotless. Just don’t look in the closets…
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Read this over morning coffee. Laughed & related. My bedroom currently looks like, that of a 16 year old girl’s. I have a cleaning lady who comes occasionally and I’ll be tidying some today, so she doesn’t think I’m a total slob, when she comes tomorrow morning.
That’s funny! I just got a cleaning lady and spent an hour last night tidying up for this morning. Thus the reason for shoving things into closets and drawers!
Definition of Type A: The theory describes “Type A” individuals as ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. People with Type A personalities hate both delays and ambivalence.
That sounds mostly like me, but add a positive trait(s) and then you have me to a “T”
You still have good hair Captain Mac. That’s positive!
I’ m torn- who would I choose as a roommate? – if I had to . . .
If it’s for the master suite, choose me. Lori is available for all other options!