Cheeky Costumes for Vintage Women

Creeping it real with sarcastic Halloween costumes‼

✫ A muffin top.

✫ Crepe paper.

✫ The old grey mare.

✫ Anything dehydrated.

✫ A diva in fishnet support stockings.

✫ In a room full of stilettos, be a sensible flat.

✫ A pussy cat incorporating your own stray whiskers.

✫ Slutty maids are passé. Old Maids are the new queen of hearts.

✫ What do a mombie, a scarecrow, and a lobotomy have in common? They’re all searching for b-r-a-i-n-s.

✫ Your internal internet browser, complete with 42 tabs open and a spinning colour wheel.

✫ The opposite of vampire. A Palm Springs Betty, home from happy hour an hour before dark.

✫ Avoid costumes that don’t peel off quickly to pee.

✫ A husk of corn

Truly Vintage:

✫ A mixtape. Multitudes of coloured duct tape on a black bed sheet.

✫ A dial up modem.

✫ Unicef box full of pennies.

✫ Proper grammar. Period.

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