Creeping it real with sarcastic Halloween costumes‼
✫ A muffin top.
✫ Crepe paper.
✫ The old grey mare.
✫ Anything dehydrated.
✫ A diva in fishnet support stockings.
✫ In a room full of stilettos, be a sensible flat.
✫ A pussy cat incorporating your own stray whiskers.
✫ Slutty maids are passé. Old Maids are the new queen of hearts.
✫ What do a mombie, a scarecrow, and a lobotomy have in common? They’re all searching for b-r-a-i-n-s.
✫ Your internal internet browser, complete with 42 tabs open and a spinning colour wheel.
✫ The opposite of vampire. A Palm Springs Betty, home from happy hour an hour before dark.
✫ Avoid costumes that don’t peel off quickly to pee.
✫ A husk of corn
✫ A mixtape. Multitudes of coloured duct tape on a black bed sheet.
✫ A dial up modem.
✫ Unicef box full of pennies.
✫ Proper grammar. Period.
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