By Lori McGillivray
1. After a long week, Val likes to reward herself with a well-earned glass of wine. Until she realizes it’s only Tuesday morning.
2. Ways to Val’s heart: 1) Buy her food, 2) Make her food, 3) Be food.
3. She’s a fitness enthusiast with a strong core and abs. It offsets her love of grub.
4. If Val were in a sorority, she would definitely be an Alpha.
5. The underside of Val’s hair looks like a woolly Alpaca. Only the top layer is poker straight.
6. Val would walk through fire for her friends. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room. Well, not too humid because, you know…her hair.
7. Val holds her enormous circle of friends to a strict “No Drama” z🚫ne.
8. Not one to impulse buy, she’ll revisit an item 10 times before pulling the trigger.
9. When Val’s mad, her chin juts out several inches. When she’s really mad, people run for their lives.
10. If Val was stranded on a desert island and could only pick one companion, she would choose me. Her husband Ken runs a close second.
11. She lusts after a Hermès Birkin, one of most elusive handbags in the world.
12. Val had a 20 year career with a small oil and gas consulting firm. Not once in 20 years did she ever discuss her job.
13. Her ankles and wrists are freakishly small.
14. She believes you should give a fuck. Not about the small stuff, but find something that sets your soul on fire.
16. Her dream job was backup singer for the Queen of Soul. Meet you on the other side Aretha!
17. Val could not exist without music. She’s the queen of playlists and mixtapes.
18. She loves to entertain, and throws epic parties.
19. Her goal was to live to 100 years old. A public speaking gig and a few life bitch-slaps have reduced that to 98.
20. Val doesn’t like to show up early. Her motto is better to arrive late than roll in ugly.
21. She curses crafting, abhors baking, snubs sewing, and finds Pinterest painful.
22. Her favourite retort is suck my dick.
23. She’s very knowledgeable about professional sports, especially during playoffs.
24. She doesn’t like texting or talking on the phone, but you can’t shut her up in person.
25. Val has the enviable ability to “Let Shit Go” and move on.
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