When friends drop by, at any given moment, what state would your house be in?
I confess to various levels of effort and anxiety when hosting company. From a ten second tidy, to a week-long borderline reno, you’d be flabbergasted at what I can accomplish. It’s not my nature to be overtly spotless, so if I look like I’m gliding on gilded floors, I’m actually sweeping up crumbs with my socks.
TIER 1 
PRIVATE – All Access
Fondly referred to as the psycho level of cleaning.
When every inch of the house will be used, inside and out.
The perception is, 1) you’ll be judged like a muther[in-law];
2) you’re trying to match the “Martha” standards of your guests;
3) favorable friends heighten your acts-of-service love language.
Sitting on the toilet, glaring at dusty baseboards is a gateway to window sills and fridge crispers.
If there’s a toothpaste spot on the mirror, do you think they won’t come back?
Each day has a list of tasks to stay on course for the planned arrival.
This level can lead to ulcer pangs.
TIER 2 PUBLIC – Premium
Hosting pals in the backyard, so only the patio, kitchen, and bathroom are used.
They’re here for a good time, not a long time.
You mop and dust around items, rather than move them.
You’re convinced their house is on par or worse than yours.
Focus is more on cocktails and snacks than the haphazard heaps of laundry.
They’re content to see a dust bunny swirl in the corner as they pass by.
Two day all inclusive prep.
TIER 3 BASIC – Bronze
You’ve reached a level of comfort that allows for laziness.
Accomplices who’ve seen you at your worst, can let themselves in without calling.
You’d answer their text, “Are you home right now?”
You’re unabashedly comfortable with the shoddy condition of your crib.
The most you’ve done is drag a box out of the front entryway, so they could get in.
“Help yourself,” is your catchphrase.
You’re torn between cleaning the house…and arson.
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Can so relate. I think most of us can.