Does your house have chronically low oxygen due to repetitive, dramatic sighs? Do you start every sentence with “Why do I have to do everything myself?” You just might be a martyr mom.
Whether you’re homeschooling with an abacus, or rustling up three squares a day for newly acquired young adults, parenting demands are at an all-time high. Covid has created a cockamamie cycle of “overdo, complain, repeat.”
Other symptoms of martyr momdom may include but aren’t limited to:
1. Quarantined together 24/7, you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your child for being just like you.
2. Rather than ask or delegate, you clean the house yourself, muttering the whole time about how those fuckers never help out.
3. You rearrange the entire dishwasher after some helpful family member loaded it “incorrectly.”
4. Kids aren’t the only ones vying for home school marks. My next performance evaluation better be graded A+ or heads are going to roll.
5. You’ve been mothering your ass off for the last two months, and while you deserve lobster and bubbles, a macaroni necklace and dandelion bouquet is all you get.
6. Inner voice: “Put your laundry away or I’ll punch you in the head.”
Outer voice: “Put your laundry away or I won’t do your next load” and not only do you do it, you iron the T-shirts.
7. Your idea of self-care is the steam facial you get after lifting the lid off a boiling pot of pasta water.
8. You want to be a good parent, but you’re going to need some different kids to work with.
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It’s like you have a spy cam in my house!
We’ve been peering in your window, not creepy at all!