For over half a decade I’ve been discovering cockamamie new things about my body. In countless conversations with girlfriends, the song is one and the same. Our catalogue of health hiccups covers titties, kitties, and the forbidden city. But there’s a new biological brainteaser in town, and her name is pelvic floor.
This puppy is considered the grand central station of down below. The pelvic floor is a sling of muscles spanning from pubic bone to tail bone. Harnessing the bladder, vagina, uterus, urethra, bowel, rectum, and anus, our muff mutts constrict and relax to pee, poop, and have sex…in the order of your choosing.
Impromptu piddles happen (hello, childbirth and menopause), so we’re headed back to obedience school for tips and tricks on how to housebreak your pooch!
DON’T:
✧ Don’t power pee, or strain to poop.
✧ Stop urinating “just in case.” It trains the bladder to feel full at smaller volumes.
✧ Regularly holding in your pee-pee can weaken the bladder muscles.
✧ Don’t sit in the same position for hours.
✧ Don’t hold your breath while exercising.
✧ Squatting above public toilets prevents your bladder from fully emptying.
✧ Don’t always carry items on the same side.
✧ Don’t clench your belly and butt.
DO:
✧ Potty train yourself to pee at regular intervals, every 2-4 hours.
✧ Practice distracting yourself between intervals.
✧ Reward good behaviour with treats and praise. Who’s a good girl!
✧ Keep the urethra relaxed, allowing it to fully open.
✧ Yoga poses like happy baby and cat/cow lengthen and loosen muscles.
✧ Do 20 kegels three times a day. Imagine scooping up a blueberry in your underwear with your vagina.
✧ The pelvic floor subconsciously tenses up in anticipation of painful sex. Liberally lube up.
✧ See a pelvic floor physical therapist. Two sangria thumbs up for Governor General award winner Maria Wu at Maud Medical Clinic
✧ Stay tuned for more info about “The Vagina Ball” brought to you by Maud Medical Clinic, coming this fall!
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