Deep down, golf is a sexy sport. If you’re into collars, spikes, holes, and balls, you should hit the links. Known for its high price and slow pace, its a bit like purgatory with putters. But for me, it’s a therapeutic drug. The rush of striking that dimpled ball, right in the sweet spot, keeps me chasing the tail of the dragon.
One of my earliest memories is getting outdriven by Mom’s 80-year-old bestie, the OG Bertha, and learning compound swearwords at Elmwood Golf Course. It wasn’t so much about the pastime as it was relishing Dusty’s hamburgers, and time spent with Dad at his second home.
As a player, I’m up to par, but it’s the slight glimpses of glory that keep me coming back for a grueling four hours. I can bogey on down with the best of them considering my lofty handicap. Bad habits attach like barnacles on an otherwise natural ability, because no matter how badly you play, it’s always possible to play worse.
Turns out, you can teach an old broad new tricks. It took a pro to show me how to slow my stroke, and choke down on a wood. Wade, from 365 Golf has my body brimming with alignments and adjustments. With consent, he videoed my waggle, and uploaded it to an app, making the deficiencies glaringly obvious. Nobody wants to get caught hooking on tape.
Golf is a multigenerational game. From toddlers decked out in diapers to great-grandparents donning depends, there’s no age limit on swingers. My bucket list to be in Augusta on the 12th hole of the Masters. Until then, I’ll be swinging with a thirsty threesome at the 19th hole! ⛳
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