Hello Catty

I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re gap-toothed…

We recently spent a week in the desert with eight wild and wacky women. Days later, my bro-friend grilled me for the dirty deets. I assured him the trip was drama free, but he was skeptical. When asked why, he blurted out “because all women are catty!”

The Early Years

Thirteen-year-old girls are renowned thugs. While some are made of sugar and spice, others are made of attitude and ice. Every circus has a ringleader, shadowed closely by rotating sidekicks. One day you’re in, the next you’re out. Monkey see, monkey do!

Gossip Girl

I don’t believe in repeating gossip, so listen carefully the first time.

We all love a little dirty laundry. The problem arises when truth turns to fiction in a grown-up version of the telephone game. Did you hear? Word on the street is the rumour mill heard it through the grapevine, who heard from the water cooler…

Drama Queens

Oh, you don’t like drama? Funny, your name comes up as executive producer on my lifetime channel episodes. Drama queens can’t exist without an audience. We have the power to keep our claws hidden, lick our wounds, or let the fur fly.

Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.

Competitive Camel-Toes

Be wary of women who don’t clap when you win. These girls scan from head to toe, hungry for muffin tops and cottage cheese. We like to work on our own grass without worrying whose side is greener. Flowers don’t compete with other flowers. They just bloom.

Jealous Judy’s

You’re just jealous because the voices talk to me…

When people rain on your parade, they’re jealous of your sun and tired of their shade. The stereotype is that women are catty to other women. They wouldn’t say that if they saw the hundreds of new friends we make in every bathroom lineup!

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