How To Survive Death…
Theirs, Not Yours.
Don Pilgrim ~ August 18, 1934 – March 2, 2015
It’s interesting to note that when you die, your entire life is represented by the dash between the dates. Losing Dad was our first up close and personal brush with death. There are many life lessons to be learned when you’re navigating the landmines. As grape therapists, we’d like to share them with you. Pro Bono.
The most comforting feeling is collapsing into a cocoon of support. Sisters we’ve never even met have reached out with condolences.
People wishing to pay their respects come out of the woodwork, in the very best way. By carrying casseroles.
You can make a whole meal out of chocolate.
Death is one thing we all have in common. Well, that and taxes (ba-dum-chhh). It’s a club no one wants to join, however membership is inevitable.
Everyone has a story of losing a loved one. We took great comfort in hearing their tales, and in sharing our experience with them. It’s similar to a post childbirth labour and delivery story.
When faced with overwhelming emotional distress, look for things that bring you peace. I watched The Big Chill movie at least a dozen times, reciting the lines by heart.
Fill your house with music. It soothes the savage beast.
Laugh at the inappropriate. Is it cold in here, or is it just him?
When your tank is empty, fill up on your girlfriends.
Do it right. All of it. Honour their wishes, not yours.
Medicate. In a Namaste way.
I will sleep again, someday.
I’m not going to look good going through this. It’s possible to turn a whiter shade of pale.
You will love meat and cheese buns, right up until the third tray.
Our reserved, unemotional father became a fountain of tears. We witnessed grown men break down and weep, and it all seemed perfectly natural. No matter what side of the bed you’re on, tears are going to flow.
Allow yourself time to grieve. Sorrow can’t tell time.
Don’t go dark. Seek help if you’re having trouble turning the light back on.
I had been packing a funeral outfit since December 2013. I got tired of seeing it, and bought a brand new outfit days before the celebration of life.
Even though we were advised to have the obituary ready in advance, it felt like it would speed up the process if we dared. We started it many times, but in the end scrapped everything and wrote it in the 11th hour (A Loving Tribute To Our Dad). We couldn’t be happier with the way it turned out.
As parents age, roles gradually reverse, until you find yourself caring for them. A curveball for both sides.
The death of a parent moves you up a notch on the food chain. All of a sudden, we’re the oldest generation.
Medicate. Pick your poison and get at ‘er.
It’s the biggest mindfuck you’re ever going to experience in your whole life. We’ve seen things we can’t unsee.
The silicon chip inside her head has switched to overload.♫ With the amount of adrenaline and emotion on the day of the service, it’s tough to recall all of the moments. I wish we’d recorded the entire day.
We’re humour writers, but there were so many times when we couldn’t find anything funny. This explains posts like Teen Heartthrobs (Teen Heartthrobs).
Even when you know it’s coming, it’s still a sucker punch straight to the kisser.
I regret not acknowledging my friends’ losses with more empathy. The depth of their pain scared me, and I ran away like a cowardly lion.
Medicate. But don’t mix anti-anxiety meds with alcohol, or you’ll be piecing your day together like a puzzle with missing edges.
In Heaven, if you don’t have your yoga mat, one will be provided for you.
The sunsets are out of this world.
If you thought you liked wine before…
The level of intimacy that comes at the end is worth the ride.
Grief is the price you pay for love. It’s worth every penny.
Thank you for all of your kind words, thoughts, prayers, and casseroles!
Sangria Wine Rack
Life In Reverse
By George Carlin
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first; get it out of the way.
Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy.
Collect your pension, then go to work, and get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You get ready for high school. You drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally promiscuous.
You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and go back into the womb,
You spend your last nine months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions, central heating, room service on tap, and then…
You finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.
Tunes you should have on your iPod:
Brooks & Dunn ✸ Believe
Robbie Williams ✿ Angels
Rufus Wainwright ✤ Hallelujah
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