Dear Humanity,
Mother Goose is on the loose, and she’s ready to kick some ass. Us mothers have been watching mankind take it from behind, and it’s clear y’all need a time out.
Mother Nature provides forests for paper, yet you lobby to burn books. Mother Earth bestowed youngins with Billy Joel to explain, “We didn’t start the fire, it was always burning since the world’s been turning.” The proof is in the Putin.
For the record, I raised you better. I gave you cherished fairy-tales sprinkled with sexually explicit prose. Under the cover, Little Miss Muff(et) played with Wee Willie Winkie’s ding-dang-dong, while Bo Peep chose to Hey Diddle Diddle her fiddle.
Let’s not forget my other K-Tel hits like “Are You Sleeping with Brother John?” Or, Peter Peter Pumpkin beater, had a wife and wouldn’t eat her.
But enough nursery rhyme dirt. What the world needs now is love sweet love and a group hug. For the love of daisy, be gentle on yourself and others. Treat Little Boy Blue and women who live in a shoe with kindness and respect. With any luck, an army of king’s horses and men can “peace” Humpty together again.
Word to your mother!
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