Lifestyle

Recipe For Spring

In the average little house on the prairie:

🥶 Measure three weeks of bone-chilling weather

📉 Add continuous negative news feed

🤯 Grate in sporadic spousal irritation

🌥️ Reduce all traces of Vitamin D

💦 Rub dead skin cells with castor oil

⚡ Raise humidity until electrical shocks subside

💸 Bring heating costs to a boiling point

💓 Beat in rapid heart rate shovelling heavy snow

🤕 Crack two hips and an elbow over ice

🦠 Sift out cold and flu viruses

🧂 Sprinkle in salt and grit from unwashed car

🚙 Scrape off bumpers sliding through icy intersections

👚 Fold in same ol’ sweaters you’ve been wearing for months

🌚 Cover in perpetual darkness and simmer

☔ Let rise until May

🌅 Add in longer days

😎 Brown lightly in the sun

🪒 Trim bountiful bush hair

💪 Knead doughy winter body into shape

🌷 Garnish with daffodils, tulips, and irises

This recipe will expire in November, until we recreate it all over again!

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