Happy Hallo’Wine
If there’s something strange, in your neighborhood…who you gonna call? SANGRIA SISTERS! As self-proclaimed dress up queens, we go balls to the costume wall. While some babes sport pigtails and…
Words of Wisdom To My 10-Year-Old Self
1. If I could speak to my 10-year-old self, I’d say buckle up girl. Life can take you out at the knees, Tonya Harding style. But you have the strength…
In My Younger Days
🔸 20 Something: I flirted my way out of a traffic ticket by inching a mini skirt into a micro skirt, exploiting my glorious gams. We’re talking seatbelt, speeding, and…
If Men Had A Uterus
1. Going forward, Aunt Flo's visits will be man-dated to 3-5 business days, open on weekends. 2. Masculine hygiene commercials would depict a hockey slash/gash crime scene with blood flowing…
My Blood Type Is B Positive
Whenever I'm asked what I'm grateful for, I fire off perfunctory answers like health, happiness, and a crisp sauvignon blanc. However, to live your best life, you have to acknowledge…
The Sound of [Middle-Age] Silence
Hello darkness my old friend I’ve come to dye the grey again The silver lining’s hiding way down there Wiry strands of tinsel ripped out bare And my vision, astigmatism…
Inappropriate Much?
If you know what rabbit ears and tinfoil have in common, book a colonoscopy tout suite! We grew up in the socially oblivious, footloose and fancy free era of entertainment.…
Eight Things My Kids Don’t Need To Know
🍺 My room was disgusting. Dirty dishes piled up under my bed, and mountains of 1) clean, 2) worn-but-wearable, and 3) downright nasty clothes covered the floor. The quickest way…
Nine Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
9. Death is the No. 1 killer in the world. 8. Life is sexually transmitted. 7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 6.…
