Globetrotting Girls

Do I have to pay extra for my emotional baggage?

I regularly get felt-up and patted-down at airport security. No dinner or drinks, just a nod and a grunt. Makes me feel closer to home.

Back in the day, travelling was fun. Now it’s good from afar, but far from good. Dress to impress has been replaced by “I’ve given-up-on-life” pajama pants.

A first class iron curtain separated the cattle from the herd, leaving coach udderly joyless. If your muffin tasted funny, it’s because it was chicken.

Ladies of the 80’s were social smokers. With only one row separating the fog from the smog, our minty-fresh menthol wafted through the plane. A combination of Bic lighters, oxygen masks, and cabin pressure added to my fear.

Travel prep is costly and extensive. A pedicure removes leftover paint chips from last fall. The esthetician has her hands full waxing my sasquatch. There’s a new outfit before the ladies shopping trip, and an urgency to clean the house.

I nervously wait to get scanned and swabbed, even though I’m 85% sure I’m clean. Removing my shoes makes me itch for cootie booties. It’s a shit show reshuffling my shoes, belt, jewelry, and liquids before the next bin comes barreling down.

Anxiety levels jump sky high on travel days. I check my passport a dozen times before leaving the house, and a dozen more en route. I had my mug shot…, uh, passport photo taken after hot yoga. I look more dangerous than a terrorist.

My goal is to travel to as many places as my luggage. Or take a six month vacation, twice a year. Vacation migration is a hassle, but I’m more afraid NOT to fly. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!

Sangria Wine Rack

Packing List
___________________________________

packing cubes
luggage scale

___________________________________

parka, coat, rainwear
sweater
top, shirt, blouse, tank top
pants, shorts
dress, skirt
sweats, lounging outfit
underwear
socks
bra, sports bra
pajamas
bathing suit, cover-up
_____________________________________

watch, jewelry
scarves
tote purse, small cross body bag
hat
knit hat, mitts, gloves
belt
boots
dress shoes, walking shoes
sandals, flip flops
_____________________________________

toothbrush, paste, floss
comb, hairbrush
headband, elastics, clips, bobby pins
razor, blades
deodorant
cleanser, moisturizer
shampoo, conditioner
make-up
tampons, pads
____________________________________

plastic ziplock bags
glasses, sunglasses
vitamins
prescription medicine
band-aids
tweezers, nail clippers
sunscreen
insect repellent
Tylenol/Advil
hand sanitizer
lip balm
_____________________________________

cell phone, charger
computer, iPad, chargers
book, magazine, e-reader
iPod
headphones
camera
GPS
pen
______________________________________

passport
driver’s license, health care insurance
credit card
ATM card, cash
airline tickets
travel documents
addresses, maps

JOIN THE SISTERHOOD. Subscribe today!
Share our shit with your favourite pals 🍷