Parody

If Rona Doesn’t Take You Out…Can I?

Sangria Sisters · 1 year ago · 0 Comments

Elf On A Shelf – Police Blotter

Another sad story of a child gnome whose brush with fame went straight to his dome. “I elfed up,” the angelic elf admitted after police illuminated the scandal by candle.…

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Sangria Sisters Blog

1 day ago

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NINE FACTS TO REMEMBER AS WE GROW OLDER9. Death is the No. 1 killer in the world.8. Life is sexually transmitted.7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.6. Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.2. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.1. Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. 🌶️sangriasisters.ca/nine-facts-to-remember-as-we-grow-older/#aging #humour #aginggracefully #fiftyandfabulous #ageisjustanumber #agingbackwards #aginglikefinewine #midlifewomen #midlifeblogger #authorunknown #dmforcredit #newblogpost ... See MoreSee Less

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Sangria Sisters Blog

5 days ago

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Spirit animals come in many shapes and forms. Find yourself a gaggle of geese who fill your cup when it’s empty, and make pour decisions when it’s full! 🍷 Niche Wine Company Peak Cellars Winery ... See MoreSee Less

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Sangria Sisters Blog

2 weeks ago

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A decade ago, Mealshare launched an innovative way to end youth hunger. Dine out to help out led to almost ⭐️6 MILLION⭐️ meals shared with youth in need! Due to the economy, steep food costs, and continued pandemic hangover, our beloved Mealshare is closing its doors, but their impactful work will live on for a lifetime!! 🧡🧡 ... See MoreSee Less

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Sangria Sisters Blog

2 weeks ago

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RECIPE FOR A MOTHER 💕Take one woman in the prime of her life.Add a dash of sperm.Fold in nausea and uncontrollable food cravings.Sprinkle in stretch marks, tender breasts, and swollen ankles.Stir constantly until mood swings blend with regular emotions.Let rise for 40 weeks.Baking is complete when the belly button pops out – put a fork in her, she’s done.Spread her dignity on a bed in a brightly lit room.Epidural is optional (but highly recommended).Remove 1 – 3 newborns from the inside of her womb.Trim off excess cord.Wash immediately.Serve the fresh baby in her shaky arms while she’s still conscious.Grate nipples into baby’s endlessly hungry mouth.Peel off diapers and remove shit-filled excess from underneath her fingernails.Bring to a boil sleepless nights until tears glaze her face.Truss baby in a swaddling blanket and rock until screaming subsides.Chop hair into a short, non-fussy Mom style.Reduce sexual contact until fear of another pregnancy subsides.Attempt to skim excess fat from the middle, thighs, and breasts.Marinate baby in wisdom, morals, and manners for the next 18 years.Toss with unconditional love.Dish out support, praise, and encouragement.Feast on the marvel and miracle that is motherhood!This recipe can be used again and again until the ingredients dry up… ... See MoreSee Less

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