January

My Goal Weight Is One Chin

Sangria Sisters · 2 years ago · 0 Comments

JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out) Playlist

Does the idea of your nips reaching their destination two minutes before you bring you joy? Fuck no! We’re talking frigid temps and tight leggings, the spitting image of sausage…

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Knock, Knock, Knockin’ On Depression’s Door

What happened to me? Did you have it all But hit the wall And didn’t even see it coming What happens when you fall How do you get back up…

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Battle Of The Bulge

Dear gym: I realize it’s been a while, but I’m ready to come back. I hope it won’t be too awkward... I wish I appreciated how thin I was, way…

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January Blows

Today I will live in the moment… Unless the moment is unpleasant, In which case I will eat a cookie. Every New Years, all the magazines at the checkout stand…

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Sangria Sisters Blog

2 days ago

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Dear Abby…Twenty four years ago I gave birth to you and changed your diapers. Twenty four years from now, I’ll be 80 and the roles will be reversed. Happy Birthday!!💕 ... See MoreSee Less

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Sangria Sisters Blog

1 week ago

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WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BODY?🔹Can’t Take My Eyes Off of YouDimly lit restaurants are the enemy you didn’t see coming. That radiant glow by candlelight softens years off my face…until it’s time to order. Shapeshifting into a senior, I squint through readers, scanning the menu by the beam of my phone’s flashlight. It helps to have more than one pair of glasses. I suggest stemless, hand painted, and flutes.🔹Tough as NailsIf I ever find myself in a maximum insecurity prison or compromising situation, these brittle talons can be used as a shiv or shank. A self-manicure would help, but I’m damned with this poor eyesight.🔹On One Hand…The thin, faint veins on the back of my hands have swollen into that of a river-bloated corpse. Intersecting highways of purply blue blood vessels snake through my skin like a 3D road map. On the other hand, I’m an IV nurse’s wet dream.🔹Youth is Waisted on the YoungOver the years my figure has matured from boyish, to hourglass, to bombshell. As in, this shit exploded.🔹Is it Knee You’re Looking For?If you spent any length of time on your knees, the original warranty for them may have expired. Good news! With a replacement part, you won’t notice the crepey crevices when a new scar is the star of the show. Save on wear and tear by laying prone with your legs in the air… 🔹Beat Around the BushWhile landscaping the lady garden, younger me never heard a peep from my tight-lipped vagina. However, 8 lbs. 9 ½ oz. later, and she can’t shut the fuck up. If she continues to flap her yap, I’ll encourage her to speak in tongues.🔹Hair Today Gone TomorrowA beautiful waterfall of jet black hair is sexy when it’s flowing down my back, but not when it’s the back of my thighs. I’m yeti to hire someone to mow those extra yards!#newblogpostsangriasisters.ca/what-happened-to-my-body-2/ ... See MoreSee Less

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Sangria Sisters Blog

2 weeks ago

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FAMILY JEWELS With two big moves under Mom’s belt, she’s unwillingly parted with many treasures. Growing up, nothing was disposable (talking to you cloth diapers). Saying farewell to an antique piano struck the same chord as ditching a chipped Norman Rockwell mug. Heirlooms were repaired and resurrected, ensuring multiple generations could lug them around from apartment to apartment.Family jewels are a blessing and a curse. The odd time it’s a diamond ring, but more often its low-hanging fruit. Precious tchotchkes teeter on crocheted doilies, peer out from china cabinets, and perch high on mantels. True devotees display wedding cake toppers under glass domes; the bride and groom desperate to change into sweats and get on with their lives.God help you if your mother was a collector. Royal Doulton, grandfather clocks, and coin collections that made no cents. Dusting knickknacks was the short straw of chores – haphazardly break a wing off that Hummel, and you might as well pack your bags. Premium wall space showcased a wooden rack of souvenir spoons. Does the fact you spent years carefully stroking them with a soft cloth sway your will to inherit?If Mom had it her way, there’d be a mountain of Fannie’s fabric bolts stored in my basement. Pictures of unknown families smiling broadly in frames never hung sit next to gently used exercise equipment. There’s little desire and no space to receive the gems she perceives as good shit. I’d be forced to pare down my own hoard of trappings.Thankfully, Millennials and Gen Z have discovered a love for sipping from china teacups, donning strands of pearls, and refurbishing antique dressers. Vintage is en vogue. Keepsakes are a connection to their history, tokens of tales that have lost their storyteller. With every box of porcelain I haul to my daughter’s tiny digs, the heirloom hierarchy is restored!#newblogpostsangriasisters.ca/family-jewels/ ... See MoreSee Less

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Sangria Sisters Blog

3 weeks ago

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