Mom’s The Word
Mama Sangria is our biggest fan. She broadcasts our blog to every friend, cashier, and server in the tri-state area. She overlooks our trucker mouth tendencies. She reminds us to…
I DREAM OF SLEEP
I’m writing this in the middle of the night. More specifically, between 3:30 - 6:30 a.m., when I’m consistently wide the fuck awake! Flopping back and forth fires up my…
Christmas Parenting Young Children vs. Parenting Young Adults
Then: Don your wee daughter in a short party dress. Force her to strike a pose on the lap of an old man that smells like cigga-weed and feet. Now:…
You Might Be a Martyr Mom
Does your house have chronically low oxygen due to repetitive, dramatic sighs? Do you start every sentence with “Why do I have to do everything myself?” You just might be…
The J.O.K.E. Parenting Awards
Now that tinseltown awards season are finally over, we can’t help but wonder why A-listers get all the accolades. Praiseworthy parents are entitled to a pat on the back, and…
Top 10 Ways To Avoid Scarring Your Kids
Raising wild things without an owner’s manual is like trekking the safari on foot. By the time we realize it's our circus, we’ve unwittingly messed up our monkeys. It takes…
Con’GRAD’ulations To My Firstborn
Original Post May 2015 Moments after we finally met, I whispered “I hope I don’t forget to feed you.” An image of my goldfish floating upside down briefly swam to…
Recipe for a Mother
Take one woman in the prime of her life. Add a dash of sperm. Fold in nausea and uncontrollable food cravings. Sprinkle in stretch marks, tender breasts, and swollen ankles.…
Love The Wine You’re With
When our grasshoppers were young, we pledged allegiance to the golden tonic. Because mommin' ain't easy, and adulting is hard. Wine armed us with perspective, tolerance, and tempered my tantrums.…
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