Take one woman in the prime of her life. Add a dash of sperm. Fold in nausea and uncontrollable food cravings. Sprinkle in stretch marks, tender breasts, and swollen ankles.…
1. I recently stumbled across my high school transcripts. It was humbling to see my teenage fuckery translated into half-assed marks. I resolved to turn that mockery into a drinking game. Take…
First child eats dirt. Parent calls doctor. Second child eats dirt. Parent cleans out mouth. Third child eats dirt. Parent wonders if she really needs to feed him lunch. Me:…
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