What The Hell Happened To Fall?

With a last name like Pilgrim, we’re inbred to fancy fall. Who doesn’t love a chance to eat, drink, and be thankful? Where the most important step in a Thanksgiving recipe is adding wine to the cook. Where snow flurries dare us to get plowed.

Here’s the best and worst reasons we love fall.

Best: It’s sweater on… then off… then on again season. Because, menopause.

Worst: Staying cozy as your youth goes down in flames.

Sisters: Finally, I can stop shaving my legs and wear sweaters to hide the wine belly.

Best: Netflix can chill. My PVR is jam packed with the new fall lineup.

Worst: Violence on TV isn’t a problem. I’ll break your arm if you say otherwise.

Sisters: Fall is a great time to take a hike. Particularly when you interrupt my shows.

Best: We gain an hour. You know you’re older when you welcome any extra time.

Worst: It takes the extra hour just to adjust all your clocks.

Sisters: The time change marks the seasonal shift from white wine to red wine.

Best: Back to school has parents popping Prosecco around the world.

Worst: You’re obligated to remember what day of the week it is.

Sisters: Family is the reason we drink.

Best: My summer body wasn’t ready, but my winter body is good to go.

Worst: Just ‘cuz it zips, don’t mean it fits.

Sisters: Corona may be vacation in a bottle, but the snowman rolls were there in June.

Best: My favourite colour is fall.

Worst: Birch, please. Make like a tree and leaf.

Sisters: If money really did grow on trees, autumn would be the best season ever.

Best: The Canadian federal election is almost over.

Worst: Trudeau: Let’s get poutine for lunch. Don’t worry, Alberta is paying.

Sisters: The problem with political jokes is they get elected. Be thankful we don’t live in the States.

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