TV Is A Weapon Of Mass ‘Distraction’

If you combine all the hours invested in faves like Knot’s Landing, Melrose Place, and Grey’s Anatomy over our lifetime, we’d amass 15 years of ass indents on the couch!

I’m Bewitched by the small screen. Curling up with the remote and a glass of Mommy’s time out fills me with Glee. My Friends and I tune out Parenthood the moment our theme song begins. Between cooking shows and weight loss programs, women have a Love Connection with the boob tube.

The Girls from our Survivor pool use the show as an excuse to party. Once a month, we put the A-Team together for 60 Minutes, to Voice our love of Jeff Probst and his adorable dimples. I’ve Lost the jackpot 30 seasons in a row, making me the The Biggest Loser.

The Bachelor revolutionized girl’s night in. It features a Gong Show of drama, bad behavior, and Twin Peaks. Millions of viewers analyze the Scandal(s) and judge wannabe Desperate Housewives. Tears, catfights, and Pretty Little Liars promote high ratings and lower expectations.

Once Upon A Time we had to choose between a social life and must-see TV. Before VCR’s, you couldn’t watch Saturday Night Live while enjoying Sex (in) the City. Programming that beast without f*ck-ups was always in Jeopardy, but for a Thirty Something it was liberating.

Nowadays, the PVR is my BFF. It helps me keep track of The Daily Show(s) so I can live My So Called Life. Keeping our recordings All In The Family leads to thirty show pileups. Storage forces us to delete The Weakest Link. So, Cheers to a new season of water cooler conversation, and delightfully mindless entertainment.

Sangria Wine Rack

TV Catch PhrasesHow many can you get?
1. How YOU doin’?2. Jane, you ignorant slut
3. Who loves you, baby?4, What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?
5. De plane! De plane!6. Tenk you veddy much
7. Book ‘em Danno8. Denny Crane
9. Norm!10. I pity the fool!
11. Good night, John Boy12. Up your nose, with a rubber hose
13. Let’s be careful out there14. We can rebuild him - we have the technology.

1. Friends 2. Saturday Night Live 3. Kojak 4. Diff’rent Strokes 5. Fantasy Island 6. Taxi 7. Hawaii 5-0 8. Boston Legal 9. Cheers 10. The A-Team 11. The Waltons 12. Welcome Back Kotter 13. Hill Street Blues 14. The Million Dollar Man

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