Tips to Avoid A Midlife Crisis

Trying to guess a woman’s age can blow up in your face. It’s deciding whether to cut the red, blue, or green wire first.

Women handle a mid-wife crisis differently than men. We’re not prowling for hot cars or shiny new dicks. We crave personal growth and higher butts. Most of of us welcome change, as long as nothing is altered or new.

Illness, career missteps, empty nest, divorce, retirement, financial woes, loss of loved ones. The heavyweights of change. Aging is a twelve round prize fight that hits below the belt. If you’re gonna go the distance, take steps to to avoid a knockout.

1. Give Back

The most satisfying way to lift you up when you’re feeling down, is to do something for somebody else. It’s rewarding, renews your purpose, and contributes to society.


We recommend: Dining out at a Mealshare restaurant to feed youth in need.

Brown Bagging For Calgary Kids are looking for volunteers like you!

2. Don’t hide your crazy

I’ve lost my mind. If found, please do not return. It’s not working properly anymore. Memory loss, and wandering aimlessly questioning why you came into the room is your new normal. Accept it and move on.


3. Seek spirituality

Wrinkled with burdens? Consider a faith lift! Loss is gentler when you believe. It can come from a chapel, or worshipping at the church of yoga. An ocean sunset, or the symphonic strings of a song. In the words of Sam Smith, everyone prays in the end.


4. Take charge of your health

In times when you fall off the diet wagon, drag it into the woods and set it on fire, supplement with the following:

1) Calcium → to succeed at life you need a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone

2) Vitamin D → Cancer, you picked the wrong broad (fights disease)

3) Omega-3 → so injuries sustained are super fish oil (heart/brain)

4) Multivitamins → to avoid one a day senior moments


5. Count your fucking blessings

The easiest way to stay positive in a negative world. Think ice cream, dark chocolate, tulips, red wine, white wine, puppies, friendship, shoes, family, coffee, naps, bubble baths, front row parking. Be grateful for the little things in life.


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  1. Jodi

    Beautifully said.

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