Entertainment

Social Media Madams

As bloggers and self-admitted attention whores, we’re very active on social media. It’s a powerful way to network without wearing pants. It’s also tedious and a time-sucker. The best part is the camaraderie and connections formed with complete strangers. The worst part is everything else.

1. Judge and Jury

An Instagram photo of Victoria Beckham planting a gentle kiss on her 5-year-old daughter triggered a media shit storm. It was deemed suggestive, even sexual. What the fuckity fuck? And yes, I kiss my Mama with this mouth. On the lips. Every damn time.

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2. Sanctimommies

There’s a new generation of cyberspace bullies savoring their superiority, and trolling mommy blogs to pounce on our parenting skills. Your baby won’t latch? Well, something must be wrong with you. They allegedly can breastfeed an infant, a 142-month-old, and a partner…all at the same time.

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3. Face your problems, don’t Facebook them

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria… of a mental hospital. The mood of the minute is revealed for the world to see. Pssst, your PMS is showing. Parading pics of my perfect family may distract from the fact that things aren’t rosé behind the white picket fence.

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4. Stalkers

Stalkers creep quietly so you never see them; but they see you. Even when your privacy settings are set to Fort Knox, a viral voyeur will find that 10-year old swimsuit photo, and save it to their spank-bank.

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5. I’d double tap that…

“Likes” are as rewarding as a gold star. More women than ever rely on the number of hearts for validation and self-esteem. However, there’s internal judgement. Your food never looks as good, your family is f’uglier, and even Mother Nature looks better with a filter.

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6. #Twitter << is for #the @birds

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  1. Ken

    Totally get social media now and will continue to think about participating. And sorry about the stalking.

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