Shit Wine Lovers Don’t Say

Let’s start with the cheap bottles and work our way to the good stuff.

It’s not a party until the Le Piat d’Or is flowing.

Do you have anything smaller than a 5 oz. glass?

After a shitty day, all I wanna do is curl up with a good book and glass of Red Bull.

My book club doesn’t read between the wines, but that’s a novel idea.

Does it come in any other colours other than red and white?

Can you recommend a wine with notes of tobacco, tar, charcoal, baby diaper, and cat pee?

I prefer Chardonnay at room temperature.

The best bubbly I ever had came straight out of a box.

I fancy homemade blends over store-bought.

Pour plenty of ice into my Pinot Noir.

I love drinking chilled Chablis from a red solo cup.

Not the old stuff, bring on something new from 2017.

I tense up when I drink Cab Sav. Uncork and unwind isn’t in my vocab-ernet.

Oh, no thanks. I never drink when I’m on holidays.

It’s not wine that brings all the girls to my yard. It’s lemon gin.

Grape therapy is overrated. I’d rather pay $200 a session for counselling.

Wine tastes better when you’re alone.

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  1. Dawn Pighin

    That is the vino language xoxo

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