Always be yourself…unless you can be a unicorn.
Then always be a unicorn.
I’m an eternal optimist, by virtue of a wine glass that’s always half full. But every now and then life pulls a Nancy Kerrigan, and takes me out at the knees. You’d never know it, because I pencil in a fake smile. Kelly Oxford’s book entitled “Everything is perfect when you’re a liar” sums up my perpetually sunny disposition.
Masquerading as a normal person is exhausting.
Women have a tendency to compare themselves to other women. It’s funny how we strive to keep up with the Joneses, when below the surface they’re just as fucked up as the rest of us. I shepherd my family like a border collie to camouflage our dysfunction. If every generation of parents set aside therapy money with their kids RESP’s, we’d be a healthier sisterhood.
Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro?
The image I portray to the outside world is considerably different behind my white picket fence. When I get home I whip off my bra, pull back my hair, and put on my comfy old robe. The look is publicly unacceptable, but soothes me like a second glass of wine. This view is reserved exclusively for family. There’s no better way to say I love you than impersonating a homeless hobo.
Behind the glass slipper
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle tangled Christmas tree lights.
After over twenty years with my husband, I still will not go to the bathroom in front of him. We’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly but some shit remains behind closed doors. Our relationship is solid now, though we’ve gone eight seconds on a prize bull to get there. Luckily I’ve been mounted more times than I’ve been bucked off.
I’m a happy-go-lucky ray of fucking sunshine.
In a way, applying makeup camouflages my feelings. Leaving the house with a completely bare face makes me feel vulnerable. Running to the store au naturel inevitably means running into a ‘frenemy’ who scans my face, tilts her head, and asks if I’m tired. If you hear the words I’m fine, it usually means the polar opposite.
I’m perfectly incomplete, I’m still working on my masterpiece.
The truth is, I love my semi-charmed life, warts and all. I occasionally photoshop it to make it look more glamorous, but I try not to go all Hollywood. Keepin’ it real makes us approachable, and more relatable to our friends. Sometimes it’s good to open the flaps, and air it all out. Now get out there, and don’t make today a total waste of makeup…
Tunes you should have on your iPod:
Jessie J ✮ Nobody’s Perfect
Cyndi Lauper ✿ True Colors
Bruno Mars ✺ Just The Way You Are
Check out this week’s Sister Shout Out ~ Kelly Oxford
Sangria Wine Reel
Keepin’ it real. Selfies that would never have made it to Facebook.