I’m sorry for your loss,
I know how much your mind meant to you.
It was late in the evening when I pulled my dirty SUV up to the car wash. I sat for several exasperating minutes, swearing, and jabbing the button over and over to get the large bay door to open. Only to realize that I was pressing my garage door opener…
We all secretly worry about early Alzheimer’s. I’d feel better if my subconscious filing cabinets were arranged in alphabetical order. The brain functions like a PVR, and has the storage capacity to record three million hours of TV shows. Coincidentally, that’s the same amount of time I’ve spent searching for my phone, glasses, keys…
I went to the doctor for fatigue, forgetfulness and the inability to concentrate and was diagnosed with Motherhood. Brain fog starts from the moment of conception. I’d drive across town with my purse on the back bumper, and my coffee cup on the roof. I suffered whiplash from all the times I checked that the baby bucket was in the back seat, not in the parking lot. I’ve gone pedal to the metal in my minivan after forgetting kids at practice.
I learn something new every day. And I forget five other things forever.
Have you heard about the doorway effect? When you cross into a new room, your brain registers the scene change, and wipes everything else out. To counteract the forgetfulness, repeat what you came for out loud. When your family inevitably pokes fun at you, retaliate with “It’s just my Tourette’s, cut me some fucking slack.”
There’s nothing like good friends, beer, short term memory loss, good friends and beer.
Heavy drinking and impaired memories are fraternal twins. Nobody ever said I drink to remember. I don’t mind a story being repeated throughout the evening, as long as it’s more interesting the second time.
Do you remember the last time you forgot something?
Senior moments aren’t just for the elderly. And brunettes are just as likely to experience blonde moments. With a weakened memory, how can we be sure they actually were the good old days? We may have 3 million hours of programming to fill up, but we’re unwittingly deleting data with every decanter.
Sangria Wine Rack
| Intact | Cracked | Intoxicated |
|---|---|---|
| Trouble remembering acquaintances | Trouble remembering loved ones | Was his name Jack? Jim? John? or Robert |
| Forgetting an item or two | Forgetting why you went to the store | Where’s my purse? |
| Using the same joke on different occasions | Using the same joke in the same conversation | ...I forgot the punch line |
| Not knowing the exact date | Not knowing the exact year | That was like, a long time ago |
| Getting lost in unfamiliar places | Getting lost in frequently visited places | Where the fuck are we? |
| Forgetting small details telling a story | Forgetting the main idea of the story | And then I said...What was I talking about? |
