No I can’t… I really shouldn’t, but… I might as well

No, I can’t…

Meet for coffee before 9:00 am

Eat popcorn one kernel at a time

Stare at #BrockO’Hurn all damn day

Go to bed without washing my face

Camp without running water, or…camp

Wait for this fucking election to be over

Stop swearing like a motherfuckin’ trucker

Get out of Netflix before the next episode starts

Drive faster in a construction zone, so get off my ass!

I really shouldn’t, but…

What’s one more tequila shot

The other doughnut will go stale

I’m gonna let my hair dry naturally

I’ll take the extra whip cream on my Frappuccino

No one will know it’s me that farted in the elevator

When a bacon double cheeseburger calls, you answer

I’m not paying for parking when I’m only going to be 15 mins

Your continual Facebook rants make me want to click ‘unfollow’

This pair of boots is totally different than my other six pairs of black boots

I might as well…

Make tacos

Pop another cork

Pee while I’m here

Laugh instead of cry

Take advantage of that low cost air fare

Be a hot mess, if I’m gonna be a mess at all

Hide my chocolate bar so I don’t have to share

Use medical marijuana for non-medicinal purposes

Give people something to talk about, because they’re going to talk anyway

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