The Next 50 Years

As sung to The Sound of Silence by Disturbed

Hello darkness my old friend,
I’ve come to dye the grey again.
My silver lining’s hiding way down there,
Wiry strands of tinsel ripped out bare.
And my vision with astigmatism still remains,
In designer frames.
Only improves…with champagne.

In restless dreams I walked alone,
And reminisce of muscle tone.
New-found bat wings jiggle when I wave,
And taunt me, this is cuz you don’t behave.
When my eyes were red from late nights and early morning light,
Still think I’m tight.
Coulda been…the vodka.

And in the naked light I saw,
A fucking ugly off-white bra.
I scanned the sagging slopes in awe and wonder,
When did my tits fall all the way down yonder?
People sight my nips, hanging down from below my shirt,
On full alert.
Mighta been…the gin.

Fools said I, you do not know,
How batshit crazy I can go.
A Pez dispenser carries ‘round my meds,
Running out of Xanax I do dread.
But my words slur softly as if I’m wasted,
From wine I’ve tasted.
Let it flow…the Pinot.

And the people bowed and prayed,
To the mess I’d gone and made.
Pee steaming down inside my thighs,
I still recall the echo of their sighs.
And the sign said
‘It’s all shits and giggles, until someone giggles and shits’
It’s the pits
Deafened by the sound…
Of silence.

JOIN THE SISTERHOOD. Subscribe today!
SHARE using the Facebook and Twitter icons below.

Join the discussion

  1. Jodi

    Ain’t that the truth !!! Very good girls. And …. If you are going to look like that , get on the retinol.

  2. Bonnie

    You girls this is too funny! Had me giggling out loud! And whatever app you got your pictures from, I don’t want it!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let's Be Friends!

Good things come to those who subscribe.


Join the sisterhood for some real and relatable laughs!

You have Successfully Subscribed!