As the sun sets on the most insignificant May long in history, the endless downtime softly strums you ain’t nothin’ but a groundhog. Normally the shotgun start to summer shenanigans, the last thing we need now is another day off.
The sisters are campaigning for novel “National Days” to be added to the list. Obviously National Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day and National No Bra Day have sagged in popularity, but if croutons can have their day, anything is possible.
Editor’s note: We brainstormed this list before the world went tits-up, so in the spirit of all things newly redundant, here we go:
✽ National repick your spouse day. Super significant now
✽ Bottomless wine fountain day. Critical
✽ Wear your hair in its natural state. Now redundant – who knew?
✽ Hygiene be damned day – no shower, makeup, deodorant. Redundant
✽ Not a good day to be my pants day. Redundant
✽ Live off the grid day – do not disturb. Redundant
✽ Revert to a kid day – no aches, pains, responsibilities (no homeschooling)
✽ National bewitched day – twitch your nose and your house is cleaned.
✽ National memory day – no problem remembering words, names, dates, events, bands, actors, movies, songs…
✽ National soft focus day – everyone looks dewy and soft – no wrinkles
✽ Politically correct free day – drop banned words like they’re hot
✽ National visit with someone passed on day
✽ Bring back your favourite clothing day – retro, old – and like magic, you’re still able to fit in to it
✽ Forget your regrets day
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