He sees you when you’re drinking,
He knows when you’re .08
Every year Christmas arrives in a festive frenzy. We overindulge and run ourselves ragged, but time with family and friends is one of our favourite things. Tis the season for good friends, cozy fires, delicious treats, heartburn, bankruptcy, and bursts of anger. It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
Treasured ornaments with sentimental value.
Tinsel works like intestinal dental floss; a pain in the ass for our feline friends.
The scent of fresh pine.
Sweeping up pine needles in July.
The warm glow of Christmas lights.
Before you commit to someone, watch them untangle a clusterfuck of tree lights.
Fa, la, la, la, la’-ing with good friends.
He sees you when you’re drinking…he knows when you’re a flake.
I’m on the naughty list. It was totally worth it.
Dear Santa, I can explain…
Santa is jolly because he knows where the bad girls live.
January’s credit card bills force bad girls to clean up their act.
Joy to the world, the wine is here.
Santa’s little ho, ho, ho.
Doin’ it with Mr. Clause.
A wiry white beard isn’t as charming as whiskers on kittens.
Finding the perfect gift for that special someone.
Seeing red when the dumb-ass buys the same gift for himself…the week before Christmas.
Homemade Christmas baking.
Sadly, caftans will never make a comeback.
Mountains of mashed potatoes smothered in butter.
He sees what you’ve been eating, he knows about the cake.
Baileys, it’s not just for breakfast.
Irish cream turns mini-wheats to mush.
Cards and board games with the family.
Taken to the cleaners playing Texas Hold’em…by your kids.
Waking your sister up for a sneak peek at Santa’s gifts.
I’m still waiting for my fucking pony.
Most memorable gift: Talking Barbie and Chatty Cathy.
Least memorable gift …I can’t remember.
Size doesn’t matter…
In the eyes of children, all Christmas trees are 30 feet tall.
Remembering and missing the ones we’ve lost.
Not loving the ones you’re with.
Careening down the hill on a scud missile more commonly known as an inner-tube.
Dragging the heavy wooden sled back to the top of the hill.
Staying up past midnight on New Years Eve.
The first few awkward seconds after the countdown.
Boxing day 12-hour madness spent fraternizing at the local bar.
If alcohol is a depressant I’ll have a blue, blue Christmas.
The lazy luxury of enjoying the decorations until mid-February.
Fruitcakes are the only treats that are still around in February.
Tunes you should have on your iPod:
Sarah McLachlan ✤ Song For A Winter’s Night
Bebe Winans & Rob Thomas ✿ My Christmas Prayer
Bing Crosby & David Bowie ✸ Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy
Check out this week’s Sister Shout Out ~The Santa Project
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