Besties Before Testes

My first introduction to the power of girlfriends came from an early infatuation with Betty and Veronica. Despite being rivals, they were drawn together. If being surrounded by witty, wacky women counts as hard currency, then call me Richie Rich.

From pigtails to perimenopause, women crushes last a reason, season, or lifetime. Some fill our hearts for a good time, not a long time, then rotate out a revolving door. It’s about finding people who are your kind of crazy.

The tried and true bitches are here for a lifetime. We share the conviction that if our kids are alive at the end of the day, we’ve done our job. We sip to success, and shotgun in sorrow. Classified secrets are divulged in an airtight cone of silence.

Girlfriends nurture one another. Unlike men who want to solve our problems with duct tape, febreeze, and WD-40, women are sounding boards to vent. A boss babe bitch session fills an emotional gap in marriage. It helps to whine a little, wine a lot.

Old friends are an investment years in the making. Besties push you to pull your big girl panties on and deal. Bosom buddies pick you up and dust you off. Confidants bare all about rolls, moles, and holes. BFF’s are the sisters you choose for yourself.

If the Sisters comic book characters hung out with Betty and Veronica, you’d find us getting shitfaced in the Riverdale Pub with Midge and Big Ethel. The speech bubbles would be filled with 🤣, 💖, and @#%☠️⭐️‼️

So, cheers to the dames, dolls, fillies, broads, floozies, homegirls, divas, hockey hoes, milfs, yummy mummys, yogis, sistahs, and subscribers who grace our lives. We looooove you!

Sangria Wine Rack

Gives honest complimentsScans your appearance from head to toe
Greets you with a smile and a hug Cold, unreliable, Frosted Flakey
Provides you with an alibi Throws you under the bus
Genuinely interested in your latest endeavor Jealous of your fabulous vacation or promotion
Considers you a sisterDoesn’t respect your family
Buys a round to celebrate your weight lossBuys you lunch...at a buffet
Encouraging One-upper
Will take your secrets to the graveCan’t trust with full disclosure
Like viagra, a girlfriend lifts you up when you’re downMisery loves company
A true friend stabs you in the frontGossips behind your back

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Join the discussion

  1. Ken

    How do men join this elite club? And who took the pictures?

  2. Bonnie

    Always look forward to Thursday’s now! So proud to call you my friend! ❤️ PS. Ken – you are always a welcome addition to this elite club (well sometimes) )

  3. Laurell Slusar

    I love the title of this weeks blog.
    I’m so happy to be in the clan!!


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